Losing My Religion. And Weight.

Do I not look HOT? I am 25 pounds lighter than I am in that picture two posts ago. I am strong and energetic and eating on just this side of starvation, and am not particularly unhappy about it. Mind, I'd LOVE a pizza, but I figured out a way to eat a slice tomorrow without fucking life up. And I tasted an awesome fat-free brownie today. Who can ask for anything more?

I'm not going to bore you any more by talking about calories this and fat that and steps here and activity there. Instead, I wanna talk about religion. Which is also boring. The top story today, in my mind, is surprisingly not related to a) Muslims who hate me for being Jewish b) Christians who hate me for being gay or c) the three-four people of varying degrees of faith I met and actually managed to get along with at Fat Camp. Instead, it's about the Shakers.

First of all, I'm immensely amused by their real name--the United Society of Believers in Christ's Second Appearing. Because really, doesn't that apply to all Christians? And Jews for Jesus? Second of all, I'm immensely impressed by their ability to have survived for 259 years without reproduction. Can you imagine converting to Shakerism? I can't imagine ever being convinced enough of ANYTHING like that to officially declare myself a member and go through rights, not even something logical and popular and perfect for me (i.e. a religion that believes in unhealthy eating and VH1). But, if I think about it, I'm sort of half-tempted to convert just to be The Last of the Shake-hicans. I'd be trivia forever. "The last surviving member of the "Shaker" religion, she died in 2099." "Who is Laura Shapiro, Trebek-bot 5500?" Of course, this Jeopardy 2155 fantasy goes directly against the Shaker principle of putting the collective over the individual (see the anecdote in here about the Sabbathday Lake cemetery), but nonetheless, I've vaguely entertained it.

I'm so psyched for "Modern Christian Thought" and "The Old Testament," but now I kind of regret not taking any Islam classes yet, what with the freaking holy war. I guess Old Testament is a good start, though, on the Israel conflict, while Modern Christian Thought will get me in the mind of the US government. But it's the Lebanese and the Iraqis from whom I feel most alienated. Soon, though, I will understand them better than they do themselves! Bwhaahahahah!