"I'm it. I'm all that's left. Here, father, here I am!"

And here you are.

Man, my play went up so awesomely, and in the course, I've gained a) a sword that makes swooshy noises and lights up when I hit it, b) a toy car, c) a figurine of a medieval woman looking in the mirror, and d) an awesome bond with the awesomest cast/crew ever to awesome an awesome. I love the post show high. And, I managed to avoid the awkward show-crush thing. Hey, maybe that only happens as an actor. I fancy there's a mystery in it. (Dammit! I'm sorry, that and the title are lines from the play. I'm in that phase where that's all that I can say. That rhymes.)

So, for the past two weeks or whatever I've been keeping a "To Blog" list/folder. I will expand on this from it's fetal list form.

Paige Has A Giant Fucking Head - Degrassi
Well, she reaalllly does. Like, I know about closeups and framing shots to fit the screen, but seriously, her head ate Canada. Her head ate lesbos. Her head is bigger than my mother's, and that's saying something.

Barry Bostwick is Old - Scrubs
Well, he reaallly is. I have photographic evidence. And this is from three whole years ago, so I can't imagine how old he is now. Well, I probably can.





Anyway, this is relevant because we spent so long on this blog remembering him looking like this:

Some Thoughts on Transsexuals - The L Word
Oh, honestly, I don't care anymore. Whatever, Max the Transgender[ed person] formerly known as Moira, I get it, you wanna be a dude, and you need your "T" and your "top surgery" and your "Pissin' Passin' Packer" and your godawful FTM goatee, but I DON'T CARE. I mean, cancer storylines suck, so I welcome a distraction, but you, my not friend, are no distraction, because you bonded with Dana over medication, and I don't care if you tried to kill yourself out of bodydysphoria, because Dana's dying without her own fucking help. So...
Anyway, what I really wanna talk about is the fact that Carmen (Latin women. Caliente) and Shane (sigh) had a big fight over a dream that Carmen had. Here is the relevant dialogue.

Carmen: "I had this dream that we were inside of Wax, but it was, like, really trippy, and there were all these like, paintings that were floating around, and you were there and I was there and there was this lady... it was Cherie. It was Cherie Jaffe. You were giving a tattoo to Cherie Jaffe. Like the one that we have that's on the back of our necks. Why did you do that?"
Shane: "Do what?"
Carmen: "Give her a tattoo."
Shane: "I didn't."

And then later...

Carmen: "Okay. Not only did you give Cherie Jaffe a tattoo, but there was a scary-looking, like, bird that kept flying around, right, and at one point, it was screaming your name, it was like Shane, Shane, hello Shane, and you sprouted wings and you flew off with the bird. Okay? That is unacceptable. Nuh-uh. No."

Heeee! I mean, I had a dream last night that I was a high school teacher and one of my students was autistic but he was also artistic and then I referred him to my childhood shrink, who specializes in autism (I'm not autistic, but I had elective mutism, and somehow they go together, I dunno, I was 5 at the time), but I'm not mad at anyone. And the night before, I dreamed that I was making out with some anonymous chick on a hospital gurney, but that's no reason to be mad at Zach Braff. (Garden State, however, is.)
Ooh, I also had a dream that Alia Shawkat went to Wesleyan and I cast her in a play with Dylan.

and, finally

VERONICA FUCKING MARS
I could just say holy shit. I could say "is smarter than you." I could say "I watched all 35 episodes over 3 days of TECH WEEK, which is the busiest week of the EVER." In fact, I say all of those, and that creator Rob Thomas was my favorite YA author before he was a TV genius on par with our own Joss Whedon. Seriously, Rats Saw God changed my life, which is weird, because I'm not a stoner or an early 90s teenager or a dadaist or from Texas, and thus the book really isn't relevant to me at all, but it was kind of irreverant and awesome and I must've read it like a thousand times and I'm going to read it again when I get home for SPRING BREAK, WOOOOO [Flash]!

What a desolation. What a life's work.

Book Log:
Assassination Vacation
You'd thought I'd discontinued this. Well, I didn't, because AssVac (as I like to call it) was AWESOME. Seriously, I love books that condense history for me. I wish there'd been more about Czlogoz and Guiteau, but Vowell was more interested in their respective murderees, and I can respect that. It's just easier to find information on McKinley and Garfield, what with them being, you know, U.S. Presidents. And, you know, someone should make a movie out of The Many Assassinations Witnessed by Robert Todd Lincoln. It'd be a great movie. Like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, etc etc, which I really should read/see, because people keep talking about it.

Movie Log:
This I might discontinue, or at least only use for movies I actually have something to say about.
For now, let's just say that I enjoy Westerns far more than I thought I would, and can even stay awake for most of 'em, and Oscars, WOOOOO!